WHAT WOMEN WANT IN A MAN

June 28, 2013

Emily Ann

WHAT WOMEN WANT IN A MAN[space height="HEIGHT"]
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[dropcap type="circle" color="#COLOR_CODE" background="#f30b7f"]A[/dropcap] recent study conducted at the University of Waterloo found that 85% of the women they've interviewed indicated that charm is the most important factor that influences whether they're attracted to a person of the opposite sex.  Hence other attributes, like looks, physique, and other superficial characteristics were found to weigh not nearly as heavily as a personality when it comes to a woman's perception of whether a man is attractive or not.  The study also indicated the following about what attributes make men attractive:  [space height="HEIGHT"]
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1.  Women want a man who is confident and can take charge.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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I was recently asked out on a date by a guy who I felt initial attraction for.  We spoke back and forth for the next several days and became increasingly apparent that the guy was very interested in me.  The only problem is, when date night rolled around, it became obvious that he was completely incapable of taking charge and planning the date. He wanted me to make all the decisions about where we should go, what restaurant we should eat at, what we should do afterward, what part of town we should go out in, ect, ect, ect.[space height="HEIGHT"]

Don't get me wrong.  I have NO problem making decisions for myself and being independent.  But when I'm with a guy, it's really nice to be able to set that aspect of myself aside and allow the man to step up and take charge.  I appreciate guys asking me for my input about the date--like what's my favorite type of food or restaurant--but beyond that, the only decision I wish to make is what to wear for the occasion.  That, in itself, is a big enough decision as it is!  Seeing a guy take charge and put thought and effort into planning the date, as well as ways to impress me, is extremely sexy and romantic.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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2.  Women want a man who is fun to be around.  No someone who is boring or dull.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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I've been on a few dates with a particular guy who is extremely handsome, successful, kind, and thoughtful.  He has made his interest in me abundantly clear, the only problem is he's extremely dull and boring.  He's really quiet and doesn't say all that much, he doesn't make any attempts to carry or add something to the conversation, and he certainly doesn't try and make me laugh or smile.  It sort of feels like eating dinner with my dad.  I feel pressured to talk, make jokes, and keep the date entertaining, to prevent myself from passing out in my entrée from sheer boredom.   Being a good date means being able to entertain your date and make the night memorable in some sort of way.  If not, changes are you'll never go on a second one.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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3.  Women want a man who is somewhat mysterious.  Not a man who feels the need to tell a woman he's interested in his entire life story upon first meeting.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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I've been out with a few guys who have done this to me, and I can tell you it is a huge turn off.  I met one guy recently who felt the need to disclose to me all the hairy details about his past failed marriage, including the time he tried to kill himself after learning about his then-wife's infidelity.  WOW!  Ummm, gulp.  Disclose information about yourself in doses.  Make her wonder about you and entice her to want to learn more.  NEVER share information about yourself that really only you, God, and maybe a good therapist should know.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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4.  Women want a man with a vision for the future.  Not a man who has no idea where he's going in life.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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Nothing is more unattractive to women than a guy who has no ambition, no goals, no passion, and no vision for what they'd like their life to be like in the future.  Recently I met a guy who I perceived must be pretty successful because he was so well spoken.  As I got to know him however, it became  apparent that although he was intelligent, he really didn't have any intentions of leveraging his intelligence to accomplish anything substantive in his life in terms of family, career, business, or otherwise.  Although he recognized his potential to be something greater, he didn't have any motivation to achieve it.  Rather he was more interested in watching TV, drinking with his friends, and partying.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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Follow these tips and get any girl you want!  It's that easy!  You're welcome :)

 

HOW FOREPLAY CAN AFFECT YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LAID IN THE FUTURE

June 28, 2013

Emily Croushore

HOW SKIPPING FOREPLAY CAN AFFECT YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LAID DOWN THE LINE

 

 

[dropcap type="circle" color="#COLOR_CODE" background="#f8063b"]M[/dropcap]en...when you go to initiate sex with your partner, chances are you've been thinking about it for at least a few minutes and imagining it in your mind and how it would feel, ect. These thoughts heighten your sexual arousal and make you "horny".  This makes a guy want to go to their partner and immediately take her clothes off and get it in.  The problem is, at the same time, your partner's mind couldn't possibly be any further away from a state of sexual arousal.  So when you confront her with your need she's probably going to get annoyed.  The trick is to get her in the mood by SLOWLY initiating foreplay.  You want to get her in a place where her defenses are down and she's able to relax and enjoy the sensations associated with being touched and kissed.  Read more about how regularly skipping foreplay can ruin your chances of sex in the future.

The more you skip foreplay, the less sex you secure for yourself in the future.  Say a man wants to have sex with his wife but she's not necessarily in the mood because she's doing other things.  The man is horny and has been thinking about having sex all day.  He is at a stage where foreplay is no longer needed as his thoughts about sex have successfully opened his mind to be receptive of the physical sensations associated with sex.  The wife, on the other hand, as been busy doing other things and sex is no where on her mind.  Her mind isn't properly positioned to be receptive of the idea, and therefore foreplay is needed.
Say the aspect of foreplay is skipped, however, and the wife indulges her husbands needs anyway without her mind being properly positioned.  In such a case, the encounter is likely to be over rather quickly, before she's really even able to get to a point of reception.  As a result, she thinks of the experience as being awkward and un-enjoyable.  This association over time will guarantee a sexless marriage as the association between lack of foreplay and bad sex strengthens.  Pretty soon, she's rather have a colonoscopy than be with her husband.  This is why the importance of foreplay can NEVER be underestimated.

You're welcome!

 

MEN--GET YOUR WIVES TO "OPEN UP"...HERE'S HOW

June 27 2013

Emily Ann

WHY MEN WANT MORE SEX THAN WOMEN AND WHAT MEN CAN DO TO GET MORE SEX FROM THEIR MATE

 

[dropcap type="circle" color="#COLOR_CODE" background="#e30756"]S[/dropcap]ex is a major aspect of a romantic relationship for any man and should never be underestimated.  For men, sex is not simply a want.  It is an emotional need.  Men need to have sex to feel connected to their partner, as well as to feel appreciated, invigorated, desired, confident, and secure within the relationship.  It serves to reinforce his masculinity and prowess as a man.  This reinforcement is strengthened by societies acceptance of men as highly sexual creatures.  From a young age boys are taught the following proverbs about sex:

 

•  Self gratification is common and normal

 

• Sex is something to be enjoyed

 

• Sex is something that should be experienced with multiple partners

 

• Sex gives you power

 

• Sex strengthens your self confidence

 

• Guys who have frequent sex with multiple partners are desired by women and admired by men[space height="HEIGHT"]

 

One of the major causes to a breakdown in a relationship arises from sex, or lack thereof.  Not surprisingly this resistance is often precipitated by the woman.  This is not to say sex is not as enjoyable for women as it is for men--it certainly is.  The difference is that women are socialized to think of sex much differently than that of men.  For example, from a young age, girls are taught the following proverbs about sex:

 

• Self gratification is not something that is spoken about, much less encouraged

 

• Sex is something to be enjoyed--but not too much

 

• Sex is something that should be experienced with one person-your husband

 

• Sex takes away your power

 

• Sex ruins your self confidence

 

• Girls who have frequent sex and/or have multiple partners are shunned by both men and women alike[space height="HEIGHT"]
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As a result, women are much more inhibited about sex than men are.  They are far less experienced in terms of knowing their bodies, what feels good and what doesn't, and how to make themselves reach orgasm.  They often aren't able to successfully direct their partner in the bedroom and bring about the big "O" or are too shy to speak up for fear of being thought of as wanton or promiscuous.

What you can do to get her to "open up"


For men, it is important to understand the association that exists with regard to women and sex and realize that sex is something females are made to believe is negative and dispels men.  Even though sex is perfectly acceptable within the confines of a relationship, several associations still exist and must be overcome in the mind of the woman.  Here's how to help her do just that:

 

• Encourage your partner to explore her body intimately when not in your presence.  Let her know how hot you think it is for her to masturbate and turn herself on.

• Take your time during foreplay and use different techniques to stimulate different areas.  Each time you try something new, ask her how it feels and get her to describe the feeling.

• Have her demonstrate on you how and where she likes to be touched and kissed.

• Have her masturbate in front of you.  This is something that can be highly erotic to both men and women.  Particularly if she was raised to be uncomfortable with female self gratification.  The fact that it may be perceived as "taboo" creates risk in the encounter and increases pleasure.

• Encourage her to embrace her sexuality and femininity through positive reinforcement and verbal feedback.

• Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay.  DID I MENTION FOREPLAY!! Read more on the importance of foreplay and how it relates to the amount of sex you have with your partner

• DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES USE HER OPENNESS TOWARD SEX AS A WAY TO ATTACK HER DURING AN ARGUMENT.  Doing so will guarantee a future for the two of you that is completely devoid of sex--let alone good sex!!

Follow these tips and start reaping the rewards of better sex and a healthy and happy marriage!

 

 BREAKUPS AND EGO: HOW TO REBUILD

June 26, 2013

Emily Ann

[quote align="center" color="#f80658"]It is not the person or thing that you're after, it's the validation and reinforcement of an aspect of your identity[/quote]

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[dropcap type="circle" color="#COLOR_CODE" background="#f7075d"]B[/dropcap]
reakups can be difficult--particularly on the ego.  If you find yourself missing someone who was never really good to you to begin with, chances are it's not the person you want or miss.  The depressed feeling you experience is a result of the ego being hurt and not being able to attain something that was perceived to be attainable.

All of us have different aspects of our identity.  Each aspect is created as a result of being good at something that is seen to be a challenge.  For example, a guy who considers himself to be a "ladies man" has an identity that is largely based on his ability to get different women into bed.  Each time he is successful in his attempts, it reinforces his self confidence, ego, and strengthens this aspect of his identity.  When he is not successful, he feels upset, angry, and depressed for failing to live up to the expectations he has created for himself.  These types of men will find it extremely difficult to settle down and be monogamous to one women because of the sheer threat commitment might pose to their identity.

If you are a person who's used to getting what they want in terms of the opposite sex and relationships, not being able to attain something or someone is enough to drive you completely insane and have you acting 50 shades of cray!  But, it is not the person or thing that you're after, it's the validation and reinforcement of that aspect of your identity.

Therefore, following a break up, the best way to overcome feelings of depression, anger, and inadequacy is to seek the validation and reinforcement of some other aspect of your identity.  For example, if you're a talented artist, enter your work into a competition or coordinate a showing of your best pieces.  If you like helping others, volunteer as a mentor at your local Boys and Girls Club, or get involved in non-profit organization. Doing something positive and productive will not only successfully build your self confidence, it will keep your mind busy and prevent you from thinking of your ex and obsessing over all the ways he or she made you feel bad and "less than".

 

 

DEFENSE MECHANISMS

Emily Ann

June 25, 2013

I am happy to announce that my blind date went really well this weekend.  At first I wasn't so sure about how it would go.  However, I'm making a concerted attempt to be more optimistic about guys and try to not view them all under the same light.  That tends to be my problem--believing that ALL guys have ill intentions.  After thinking about it, I realize I didn't always think this way.  I began trying to remember when I developed this belief and quickly realized I could trace it's origins back to a particularly traumatic and volatile time in my life where I was left feeling broken, confused, and vulnerable.  My defensive mechanism of thinking all guys are "bad" was needed for me to protect myself against all guys-good and bad; because I was unable to tell a discern a difference between the two at the time.

However, this thought pattern is no longer working to protect me; it is outdated in terms of where I currently am in my life.  I have reconciled past events and no longer live in the construct of my previous experience, and therefore shouldn't feel the need to operate off of fight or flight instincts.  I believe I have regained my ability to distinguish the good guys from the bad--in fact I know I have.  The only problem is trusting myself enough to allow my guard down for a guy, and be confident in knowing he is a good guy.  That is a scary, scary notion for me to confront....terrifying, in fact.  However it is the only way I am ever going to find true love.

6/22/12

June 22, 2013

Ok.... well this weekend I have two dates planned....may God help me.  Tonight I am going out with an old friend from high school and tomorrow I am going out on a blind date who I met through a friend.  I'm really hoping I like the guy...it is soooo difficult for me to feel a connection with someone.  It only happens like once every few years it seems--I know, YEARS-- and since I felt that for a person rather recently, I should perhaps get settled in for awhile.  FML!!

HPV: 90% OF WOMEN WILL CONTRACT IT BY AGE 50....HERE'S HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF!!!

 



 

 

 

HPV (Human Papillomavirus Virus) is a disease every woman needs to get educated on!!!  According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC), by age 50, 4 out of 5 women will contract HPV at some point in life.  It is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the United States, and carries the potential for devastating consequences.

Here's what you need to know to protect yourself:

• There are 2 types of HPV.  These types are classified on their propensity to cause cancer.

 

• "Low-risk" HPV causes warts.  It can inflict the genital regions of men and women, as well as the linings of the mouth and throat.  It is considered "low-risk" because it places the woman at low risk for developing cancer as a result of the infection.

 

• "High-risk" HPV causes cancer.  It can inflict the cervix, vulva, vagina, penis, anus, and the head and neck (specifically, the oropharynx, which includes the back of the throat, base of the tongue and tonsils).

 

Treatment for "Low-Risk" HPV:

Treatment options available for those infected with "low-risk" HPV genital warts include freezing or burning the affected area with acid and or laser.  Multiple painful and prolonged durations of regular treatments are required in some circumstances to effectively get rid of the warts.  Once removed, however, there is no guarantee the warts wont return and future breakouts won't occur.

Treatment for "High-Risk" HPV:

Alternatively, those who've contracted "high-risk" HPV often will not experience any noticeable symptoms or abnormalities.  In fact, most women are completely unaware they have the disease.   The body's immune system is sometimes able to irradiate and naturally rid itself of the disease over a 2 year time period.  However, if the body's immune system is unable to get rid of the high-risk HPV infection, the HPV will begin attacking the normal cells surrounding the infection, causing them to take on an abnormal appearance.  This is what your gynecologist is looking for when you get a pap smear (and why it is so important to get one done regularly!).  These abnormal cells become cancer if not removed.

Cervical cancer is the most common form of cancer caused by HPV infections.  "High risk" HPV infections cause cervical cancer in approximately 10% of "high-risk" cases.  HPV also causes cancer of the vulva, vagina, penis, anus, or the oropharynx (back of the throat, including the base of the tongue and tonsils).   Surgery is required in such cases to remove the cancer.  Other treatment options such as radiothearpy and chemothearpy might also be needed.  Cervical cancer makes it extremely difficult for a woman to conceive, and left unchecked can cause death.

 

GET VACCINATED

PLAYING "HARD TO GET" OR JUST NOT INTERESTED?

June 9, 2013

Emily Ann

[dropcap type="circle" color="#f8064a" background="#COLOR_CODE"]P[/dropcap]laying hard to get is something many girls and guys are guilty of during the onset of a new romance.  Many would-be relationships fail to even get off the ground beyond this point, because oftentimes one person’s “hard to get” behavior gets interpreted as simply a sign of dis-interest.

So how does one tell the difference between a person who wants to be chased, and one who likes the attention, but is not genuinely interested?  Here are three common situations that might leave a clue:

 

Responses to Text Messages?

If the person you like isn't responding to your texts or returning your calls right away, this is not always a sign that he or she is not interested. One girl stated: "For me, I’m horrible about returning calls and texts to my phone.  This is often a complaint I hear from most guys when we start dating.  But the more time I spend with the guy and more I learn about him, the more effort I’ll put toward returning his calls and texts".  A prolonged response time can be helpful in getting the other to chase you, but it can also back-fire.  Guys are especially sensitive about text turnaround time in the beginning. Girls are generally the opposite.  Some guys will immediately take a long response time as a sign of non-interest so use with caution, ladies.

The difference is, when there's a genuine level of interest:

• The person responds, and

• The response reflects a desire to keep the conversation going.

If this is not the case, this is a good indication that he or she is not genuinely interested.

Canceling Plans?

If the person you like cancels plans, this is not always a sign that he or she is not interested.  Everyone is subject to scheduling errors or having something come up they must attend to. Surprisingly, several popular books geared towards teaching guys how to get women to chase them even suggest canceling plans as a way to peak a girl's interest.

The difference is that when there is a genuine level of interest:

• The person who cancels makes it a point to reschedule for the two of you to meet on a different date or time, and

• Canceling plans is not something that is typical or regular

If this is not the case, this is a good indication that he or she is not genuinely interested.

Hot and Cold Behavior

If the person you like is hot and cold with their behavior toward you, this is not always a sign that he or she is not interested. This is especially the case where the two of you are co-workers, classmates, or share some type of similar environment.

The difference is that when there’s a genuine level of interest:

• He or she wants to know how you're doing and what your day was like, and

• Is respectful of your feelings and doesn't say or do deliberately hurtful things.

If this is not the case, this is a good indication that he or she is not genuinely interested.

The most important thing to consider is, if you have to wonder whether the person you like is genuinely interested in you, this is probably a good sign that he or she is not.  Be honest with yourself.  It will save you a great deal of time, effort, tears, and heartache.  There are plenty of great people out there.   Confidently know that if he or she isn't truly interested, it's their loss and not yours!