GASLIGHTING: WHAT IT IS AND HOW GUYS USE IT

WHAT IS GAS LIGHTING AND HOW IS IT USED IN RELATIONSHIPS?

Gas lighting is a term used by mental health professionals (no I am not one) to describe a form of emotional abuse where a guy manipulates his girlfriend or wife into believing there is something "wrong" with her.  It occurs when a guys purposely says or does something to provoke a certain response from his partner.  Once satisfied with her reaction, he makes her feel insecure by behaving as though her reaction was completely off-basis, overblown, or down-right cray-cray.

 

GUYS USE GAS LIGHTING TO:

Gain Control

Guys may use Gas lighing to keep his girlfriends or wives "in check" by making her feel unsafe or even fearful of expressing her true feelings and emotions.  He does this by using the reaction Gaslighting provokes as potential reasons for why:

•  He treats her bad

• There are problems in their relationship

• He's not faithful

• He unable to commit or take the relationship to the next level.

To Deflect From His Own Bad Behavior

Guys most commonly use Gas lighting when being confronted about inconsiderate or insensitive behavior, or acts of indiscretion and suspicions of infidelity.  In order to deflect from his behavior, guys uses Gas lighting to prompt a certain reaction from the girl and then use as evidence to discredit and disclaim her initial feelings of hurt and/or suspicions of unfaithfulness.

To Prevent Himself From Feeling Bad
Most men are incapable of recognizing or taking responsibility for their own bad behavior, no matter how reckless, blatant, or how much pain it causes their partner.  Why?  Because our society conditions men to distance themselves from their emotions, and coping up to misdeeds means they would be opening themselves up to feelings of guilt, remorse, and sadness.

To Provide Justification for Continued Mistreatment
When a recognizes he is successfully able to Gaslight a girl, he'll not only use the tactic repeatedly, but every time he's able to get away with it, he'll lose respect for the girl.  The guy comes to perceive her as weak, inferior, and deserving of the manipulation.  In his mind, this only goes to justify any further or increasingly severe mistreatment toward her.

ONLINE DATING: PLENTY OF FISH PROFILES THAT WILL MAKE THE CUT

May 27, 2013

Emily Ann

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As I discussed in my previous post, How to Get a Reply from Your POF Dream Girl, Plenty of Fish.com is now the #1 online dating site in the world.   With so many members however, how does a guy make his profile stand apart from the rest?  Previously, I discussed the types of pictures a guy should use for his main photo, as well as include in his photo library.  Today I'm going to focus on the type of content a guy should feature in his bio.

The main bio section is for the user to breifly state their age, height, body type, profession, highest level of education achieved, and what type of relationship they are looking for (ie long term relationship, dating but nothing serious, hang out partner, ect).[space height="HEIGHT"]
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Be sure to:

• Provide Accurate Information[space height="HEIGHT"]
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• Be Honest About Your Intentions[space height="HEIGHT"]
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In the next section, the member is provided an opportunity to briefly describe themselves.  Keep in mind the following:[space height="HEIGHT"]
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• Girls do not read a guys description because she wants to learn about how much the guy loves to work out and stay in shape.  If you're in shape, the accurate photos you've uploaded of yourself (as discuss in my previous post) will depict that sufficiently.  No sense in going on about the obvious.  If you're not in shape, but you use this section to talk about how much you love to exercise, you're just going to look stupid since your photos tell a different story.

 

•  Keep the description of yourself short and sweet.  No one wants to read your life story.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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•  Showcase your personality.  Talk about what makes you fun to be around, or how you're different than the other guys on the site.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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•  Interject some humor.  Guys who are able to make me laugh by what they have to say in their profile will most likely always get a date from me.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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•  Don't take yourself too seriously.  No one wants to date Hitler.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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•  Don't brag.  If you're a successful guy, DON'T make it a point to bring it up!!!!  This is my #1 pet peeve!!!   I've found that guys who brag about their successes or how much money they make are either self-absorbed a-holes who think the world revolves around them..... or they're just plain liars.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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•  This reminds me of another pet peeve of mine...guys who use their profession as their screen name.  I.e. Doctor76, Lawyer01, or Pilot35......barf!! (see above)[space height="HEIGHT"]
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**Remember, females are a lot less motivated by looks then men are.  Females are more inclined to want to connect with someone  who has substance, rather than with someone who just has a hot bod and good looks. Just be your adorable self, take each date and person you meet with a grain of salt, and chalk every experience up (whether good or bad) as a great opportunity to have learned something new about yourself and what you're looking for in a partner.  Sooner or later, the right girl will inevitably come along so long as you keep your head and heart open.

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PLENTY OF FISH PROFILES THAT WILL MAKE THE CUT by Emily Croushore is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://wp.me/p3vlzt-em.

ONLINE DATING: GET A REPLY FROM YOUR POF DREAM GIRL

Emily Croushore

May 24, 2013

[dropcap type="circle" color="#COLOR_CODE" background="#FF0040"]S[/dropcap]o, I’m not going to lie, being thirty-something and single isn’t the greatest situation to find yourself in.  And the guys I meet at bars aren’t necessarily the greatest, so I decided to give online dating a shot.  But, While there are plenty of dating sites out there, like Eharmony, Match.com, singles.net, I didn’t want to make myself look too desperate and actually pay for a membership, so I decided to go with the ever-so-popular Plenty of Fish.com (what, what).



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Plentyoffish.com is an online dating site that is completely free to join and free to use.  The popularity of the site has grown so much in recent years, that it has become the #1 online dating website in the US, boasting a record 55 million members, 24 million messages sent per day, 50,000 new signups per day, and 10 billion page views every month!!

While online dating gives you the opportunity to meet new and interesting people, POF, and sites like it, can be pretty cut throat.  Like other females on the site, I am regularly confronted with 100s of emails in my inbox which makes using the site at times overwhelming or too time consuming.  Decisions about which messages go straight to the trash without being read are immediately made, just to get a handle on one’s inbox.

With that many members in competition though, how do guys increase their chances of hearing back from that special girl who peaked their interest?  Here are some tips:[space height="HEIGHT"]
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• Upload at least 6 good photos of yourself to your profile.  Include up close shots of your face as well as photos that show your whole body.

 

• Make sure the pictures you include are clear.  Do not include photos that are fuzzy, blurry, highly pix-elated, or of overall poor quality.

 

• For God’s sake KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON!!!  No matter how awesome you think this one particular pic shows off your washboard abs or  perfect pecks, avoid all temptations to post it to your POF profile!!!  When I see messages from guys who have their shirt off in their profile pic, no matter how sexy or hot—I WILL AUTOMATICALLY DELETE THE MESSAGE  WITHOUT READING THEM!!  Period.  Sorry.

 

• I highly suggest that guys don’t wear sleeveless shirts for their main profile pic.  Your main profile pic should be a simple, straight forward, conservative shot of yourself from the shoulders up.  Think school picture.

 

• Use recent photos!!!  Come on.  This goes without saying.  Remember fellas, there IS a possibility that you actually MIGHT meet this girl one day.  Hence, SHE’S GOING TO SEE WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE EVENTUALLY.  Wouldn't you rather know that the girl you’re about to meet is attracted to the way you ACTUALLY look, rather than have her show up and be disappointed that you look nothing like your profile photos?  It’s EXTREMELY hard to come back from this guys.  When a girl shows up and sees you don’t look like she thought you did, nothing you say for the remainder of the date is going to matter.  She’s already cut you, she’s just trying to be polite by not leaving.

 

The initial cut is based off two things alone: the guy’s profile pic, and to a lesser extent, what the subject of the message is.  If you have a good profile pic (one that meets the following criteria) don’t jack things up by writing something stupid as the subject line.  *Here’s a tip guys: for the subject, just write RE:  This will give the girl the impression that she’s already spoken to you.  Thus your email  to her has that much better of a chance to pass the first cut.  (Guys do this to me all the time, and it works)![space height="HEIGHT"]
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GET A REPLY FROM YOUR POF DREAM GIRL by Emily Croushore is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://wp.me/p3vlzt-e3.
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Happy Fishing!!!

GAMES GUYS PLAY

Emily Ann

May 21, 2013

 

[dropcap type="circle" color="#F70C37" background="#050000"]I[/dropcap]always laugh when I come across different relationship "self-help" books and articles that try to convince it's female readers that men are these simple, unemotional, and unsuspecting drama-free creatures that don't care enough about relationships and women to involve themselves in things like playing games, using tests, or "freaking out" for highly inarticulate reasons over the course of a relationship.   Such was the major underlying premise in the highly popular cult phenomena, He's Just Not That Into You, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.

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The fact of the matter is however, men do have minds.  They think about the future.  They are not as innocent and stupid as they would like everyone to believe, and they commonly play games and use tactics to help them navigate their way through relationships in an effort to find the "right one".

The following are common tests men use to determine relationship worthiness. Being aware of these tests will help ensure you pass each exam with flying colors![space height="HEIGHT"] [space height="HEIGHT"]

[dropcap type="circle" color="#F70C37" background="#050000"]1[/dropcap]You hook up on the first date. [space height="HEIGHT"]

The Test:  When a guy goes on a date with a girl he's attracted to and interested in, he's going to try to sleep with her on the first night.  He'll try to convince the girl that if they have sex, it's not going to change the impression he has of her, or make him loose interest.  He might even say the act will only cause him to like her more.  Although the guy really does want to have sex, he's secretly hoping and praying that the girl will say no.  Guys want a smart, confident girl.  One who won't compromise her values for anyone, let alone a guy she just met.  [space height="HEIGHT"]

[dropcap type="circle" color="#F70C37" background="#050000"]2[/dropcap]There is an imbalance in the amount of effort each is putting forth. [space height="HEIGHT"]

Guys want a girl to reciprocate the amount of effort he is willing to put forth toward the relationship--but not an ounce more.  The Test: When a guy is interested in a girl, he might intentionally pull back to see how the girl reacts.  During this time it is key that the girl is able to show him that she's only willing to exert as much effort into trying to talk to or see him, as he is willing to exert toward trying to talk to or see her.  When an imbalance occurs in the relationship, and the girl makes more of an effort to call, text, or make plans to see him, the guy freaks out and losses interest.  He perceives the girl to be clingy, needy, or possibly even desperate. [space height="HEIGHT"]

[dropcap type="circle" color="#F70C37" background="#050000"]3[/dropcap]The girl is quick to get into a relationship.[space height="HEIGHT"]

Guys want to feel special in the eyes of their girl.  They want to feel as though they had to battle or struggle to rightfully win over the heart and affection of the girl they desire, and to feel as though this accomplishment was not one that is readily attainable to just anybody.  The Test:  A guy might test a girl and act more serious towards her than he would normally to determine whether the girl will be quick to jump into things with him. When a girl is too quick to get involved in a serious relationship or commitment, a guy is likely to freak out and lose interest.  He'll likely perceive the girl to be desperate and conclude that it's not him she's after, but rather the security a committed relationship can provide.[space height="HEIGHT"]

[dropcap type="circle" color="#F70C37" background="#050000"]4[/dropcap]He realizes that he wants a relationship with you.  [space height="HEIGHT"]

The Test: When a guy begins to consider the possibility of taking the relationship to the next level, he's likely to pull back.  Most guys don't take commitment lightly.  Thus, they're highly unlikely to rush into a relationship without experiencing some feeling of wanting to rebel or pull back in an effort to determine whether he's making the correct decision.  During this time, if the girl is able to provide him with the time and space he needs, the guy is likely to solidify the relationship and take things to the next level.

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Games Guys Play by Emily Croushore is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://wp.me/p3vlzt-cn.

 

HOW TO BE AN AMAZING LOVER

[dropcap type="circle" color="#050000" background="#fa045d"]L[/dropcap]et's face it.  The more comfortable you are with your body, the better lover you are in bed.  However, feeling comfortable in the nude can stir up feelings of insecurity, embarrassment, and anxiety.  Here are 5 tips on how to overcome these emotions and be an amazing lover.

1.  DON'T CALL IT OUT

When a person is uncomfortable with something about their body, they tend to call it out, this is highly unadvised.  Your partner wants to enjoy your body, not hear about everything that's wrong with it.  Try not mentioning or drawing any attention to certain areas or features about your body that make you feel uncomfortable or insecure.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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2.  NO ONE'S PERFECT

Realize that everyone has physical flaws.  EVERYONE.  So rather than focus on your flaws, concentrate on the aspects about your body that you're pleased with or fond of, and use these features to your advantage during intimacy.  If you know you have really killer legs, emphasize the movement or use of your legs while you're in the moment. Grab your partners hands and have him slide them up and down your legs, drawing attention to how fab they are.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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3.  SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

When you do notice yourself beginning to feel insecure, immediately change your mind's focus.  Focus on other things, such as the warmth of your partners body against yours, the grip of his hands around your body, or the way it feels to gently stroke your partner's body with your fingertips.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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4.  NO ONE'S TAKING NOTES

Recognize that, at that particular moment, you're not looking over your partner making mental notes of each and every one of his imperfections--and chances are that neither is he!  After all, if he wasn't attracted to you in the first place, the two of you probably wouldn't have found yourself in such an intimate situation.  Contrary to popular belief, men need to feel attracted to the woman in order for them to want to take it to the bedroom.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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5.  CONFIDENCE IS KEY

Lastly, NEVER forget that even if you don't have confidence--ACT as though you do!  Quite simply, there is NOTHING sexier about a man or woman who has confidence.  In fact, I've dated quite a few guys who weren't necessarily "my type" upon first glance.  However, after getting to know the particular guy and seeing the confident way in which he carried himself, I noticed my perception of him quickly changed in accordance to the way he perceived himself.[space height="HEIGHT"]

CONCLUSION

Being an amazing lover means moving past insecurities and being present to enjoy the physical sensations associated with the feelings of touch and being touched.  If difficult at first, don't worry, with time and practice it will come easily and naturally.  Here are 5 tips on how to get you headed in the direction toward self-acceptance and  we must move past these insecurities we have about our bodies, and truly enjoy being in the moment.  Being present heightens our ability to enjoy the physical sensations associated with the feeling of touch and being touched.  [space height="HEIGHT"]
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How to be an amazing lover by Emily Croushore is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://wp.me/p3vlzt-aB.
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YOUR G-SPOT GUIDE TO FEMALE EJACULATION

May 16, 2013

Emily Ann

[dropcap type="circle" color="#F10F57" background="#050000"]S[/dropcap]ince its discovery in the 1950's, the existence of the G-spot has been hotly debated by doctors and sex therapists (mostly male if I'd have to guess).  But rest assured everyone....the G-Spot DOES exist!!!  Here's everything you need to know about this magical little spot!

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WHAT IS THE "G-SPOT"

The G-Spot is an anatomical feature inside the vagina that contains a bundle of nerve endings.  These nerve endings cause this area of the vagina to feel more sensitive than in other areas.  This is similar to the way a guy's penis contains its nerve endings in the head of the shaft, thereby increasing the sensitivity in this region.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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DO ALL WOMEN HAVE ONE?

Although all women have a G-spot, not all women feel the same type of response when having this area stimulated. For example, some women may feel little or nothing when this area is touched or massaged, while other women may experience the feeling of needing to urinate.  For many women, however, stimulation of the G-spot causes increased sexual arousal and excitement, and lends itself to extremely intense and prolonged orgasms and/or female ejaculation.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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WHERE IS IT LOCATED?

The G-spot is located about 2 inches up on the inner upper wall of the vagina.  This area is between the back of the public bone and the front of the cervix.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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HOW DO I FIND IT?

With your palm facing up, insert your middle finger into your vagina, pressing down lightly.  You'll notice that it feels firm underneath at first.  That is your public bone.  Slide your finger in further, past this region, until to get to the point where things are much more squishy.  This is the area your G-spot resides.[space height="HEIGHT"]

Once you're in the right place, cure your finger forward, like a hook, and firmly and repeatedly rub the flat of your fingertip against this area.  If you feel yourself getting increasingly aroused, you'll notice that your G-spot will become much more pronounced and easier to feel with your finger.  This is because the area swells with blood, similar to what happens when a man's penis becomes erect.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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If you don't necessarily feel anything different, this doesn't mean you're one of the women who's unaffected by G-spot stimulation.   Simply try incorporating clitoral stimulation as well, by using your other hand to rub gently on your clitoris.  Personally I can not have a G-spot orgasm unless both are being stimulated....[space height="HEIGHT"]
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HELPING HAND

Don't get me wrong, stimulating both your G-spot and clitoris simultaneously can be a difficult task to maneuver.  Luckily LELO, the leading manufacturer of intimate lifestyle objects, has designed several vibes ergonomically made to target a woman's G-spot, while simultaneously providing clitoral stimulation.  The INA 2, for example, is perfect for helping to achieve a G-spot orgasm, and is my #1 "go-to" vibe of choice.  The INA 2 is just like your typical "rabbit style" vibrator, but because it's rechargeable, waterproof, and doesn't run on batteries, the vibe is much stronger and much more durable than your ordinary vibe.  Plus, it's designed to hit your sweet spots, both inside and out.  Read more.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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CONCLUSION

Women who are able to have G-spot orgasms report that they are actually able to "ejaculate" a fluid from their urethra upon climax, similar to the way a man ejaculates upon climax.  The ejaculation may range from simply feeling more wet than usual to literally being able to expel a jet of fluid.  Some medical professionals (again mainly men) have wrongfully concluded that female ejaculation does not exist, stating that what women are experiencing upon climax is simply a release of urine.    However, science has revealed that the chemical composition of female ejaculation and urine are completely dissimilar in terms of their chemical composition, proving that female ejaculation is a very real, and very natural phenomena.

Check out the following videos about the INA 2 by LELO:

[youtube height="360" width="640"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UluUX09eTG0[/youtube]

[youtube height="360" width="640"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL_3zARqbOY[/youtube]

HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY GET OVER A BREAKUP IN THE AGE OF SOCIAL MEDIA

May 15, 2013

Emily Ann

[dropcap type="circle" color="#ffffff" background="#050000"]L[/dropcap]ets face it, break ups suck.  And no matter how bad the reasons were for the breakup, you’re still going to miss certain things about the other person.  Those things made you fall for the person to begin with, remember?

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Social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and the like, can make getting over all those little things you loved about the person, even that much more difficult. [quote align="center" color="#F01251"]"The other person is just one click away, there’s almost this continual contact which is very compelling".[/quote] However, in order to successfully get over an ex, it is important you make a commitment to yourself not to have ANY contact with the person for a full 30 days following your breakup.  But in our contemporary age of smart phones, emails, and status updates this can be particularly difficult to do.  Thus, here are my MUST DO tips to help ensure you successfully get over your break up and move on from your ex.

EMAIL

• Begin with your email and delete all messages that you’ve received from his during the course of your relationship.

SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORKS

• Completely remove his profile from all your social media circles. Remove him from your list of “friends” on Facebook, and un-follow him on Twitter, Instagram, Spotify or any other applicable social media platform the two of you used to communicate or share thoughts and/or memories.

 FACEBOOK

• In the first few weeks following a breakup, it can be helpful to avoid using Facebook all together.

• If this is not realistic to you and you find yourself continually visiting his page, block access to his profile completely. This will definitely help you to move on, and prevent you from coming across any photos or status updates that could potentially be painful or upsetting to see or read.

• Take all the photos from your relationship off your profile. Save the photos to a folder on your computer then transfer the folder to a flash drive. Remove the photos from your hard drive and place the flash drive somewhere safe. Later, you may return to these memories and sift through them. Decide what to keep and what to delete.

SMART PHONE

• Forward all photos of him or the two of you together off your phone and save them to the flash drive you’ve created that contains the memories of your relationship. Delete the originals from your phone.

 • Delete his contact information from your phone to ensure you don’t find yourself texting him on a particularly drunken, lonely night. In addition, delete your call log and any text messages or photo downloads you’ve sent to one another in the past.

 • If your ex is still contacting you and making it difficult to move on, you also have the option of blocking his phone number all together through your online profile with your cell phone carrier. This is especially helpful when your ex is simply trying to be a dick and screw with your emotions.

CONCLUSION

In sum, getting over an ex or a particularly difficult breakup can be especially difficult given the prolific nature of social media today.  It's important to move forward, but not to completely destroy every memory from your failed relationship.  At some point in time, you'll be able to look back on those moments in time, appreciate the good times for what they were, and be reminded of the lessons you learned that made you become the person you are.

 

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How to successfully get over a break up in the age of social media by Emily Croushore is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://wp.me/p3vlzt-8C.

[youtube height="480" width="853"]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9S8YeTJK-U[/youtube]

DL LADY PORN...YOU'RE WELCOME

Pron, Seks, and Other Ways to Get Your Rocks Off on the DL

We know you have a good imagination when it comes to solo sex, but sometimes a girl needs help. Type in these savvy terms (pron, anyone?) to search for sexy things online, so you can get turned on…without getting caught with your pants down.[space height="HEIGHT"]

BY MOLLY TRIFFIN

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Pron

Girl, we know you love your lady porn (and why shouldn't you?). If your man comes across this one in your history, he'll probably just think it's a new hair tool he's never heard of.

Mamada

Another cool trick is to look up a naughty word in another language. Google imaging "mamada" (It's Spanish for blow job) turns up some very NSFW pictures.

Pnis

Hey, sometimes you feel like eyeballing a little baloney pony. Eliminate the "e" in penis and suddenly it looks like just some random acronym. If anyone asks, you were searching for the "Polish National Integrative Society" or, um, whatever.

Seks

So, you and your man are spending the weekend at your parents' house…and forced to sleep in separate rooms. Yeah, no wonder you're craving a little solo pleasure inspiration. If your mom sees the word seks in your search history, it won't raise any alarm bells—it sounds like the name of a trendy new sushi restaurant.

RSS Sex Position

Putting a naughty term in an RSS aggregator, like Google Reader or Feedly, can help you leap over any pesky filters. Because you're linking to the site via a second-party Web site, the system might not register it as a forbidden term.

D1ck

Subbing in a number for a letter circumvents filtered internet access, so if you're using public wireless that restricts what you search, type in something like 0ral s3x instead. For all they know, it could be some kind of html coding mechanism.

THE SUGAR DADDY DATING DYNAMIC

May 1, 2013

Emily Ann

[dropcap type="circle" color="#ffffff" background="#050000"]W[/dropcap]hen compiling the content for this site, I wanted to ensure I covered the vast array of types of relationships that are prevalent in our community. One type that has been stuck in our community’s consciousness for a long time is that of the sugar daddy. To further investigate a few months ago I signed up for a limited free membership on one of the many SD/SB dating websites. After several interviews and personal exchanges between myself and both the various men and women on the site, I was shocked to learn that the sugar daddy stereotype and lifestyle isn’t at all what it’s typically portrayed to be. While most depictions of these men are often as elderly or middle-aged guys who want trophy wives so they shower gifts upon women who would normally be way out of their leagues, the reality is far different. Today’s sugar daddy can come in a variety of different looks, sizes, and backgrounds.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THE SUGAR DADDY

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[dropcap type="circle" color="#ffffff" background="#050000"]W[/dropcap]hat is the psychology of the sugar daddy population? These are regular guys who just happen to be exciting and rich! They get lonely just like any guy does, but instead of going to a cheap tavern and downing beer, they go to Europe and sample some absinthe. Instead of complaining about being broke, they complain about how shoddy a job the car washers did on the hummer. Get the picture?[space height="HEIGHT"]

These are also successful men who can show a woman a wonderful time. And what a nice change it is for hot
women who are tired of being in a relationship and date deadbeat, dudes on welfare, guys who live with their
parents, minimum wagers, and other “house husband” material.[space height="HEIGHT"]
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RELATIONSHIPS OR PROSTITUTION??

But critics contend that SD-SB dating sites are merely pose as a cover for men who seek sex in exchange for
money. This misconception, in fact, made me incredibly weary in the begining. So, in addition to interviewing
and talking to the men on the site about their experiences in a SD-SB relationship, I contacted several women as well to get their take on this style of dating. One woman I spoke to told me that she wasn’t necessarily
opposed to having sex with the men she meets on the site, but does not consider herself to be an escort.  [quote align="center" color="#f5094b"]“The term escort is simply a nicer word than prostitute, but I am neither. On your profile you explicitly state whether or not you are open to engaging in a sexual relationship with any member you meet on the site. If you do not want to have sex, you simply don’t have to; the men are quite respectful of your boundaries.”[/quote]

Another woman added, “This is just like dating — dating with perks. “A lot of these men have been married
previously and they don’t want a woman who is going to nag them when they come home. A man’s ego
should never be underestimated.” In fact, I quickly discovered the man’s ego is what perpetuates the SD-SB
dating lifestyle. SD’s are looking for an opportunity to enjoy the accompaniment of a desirable woman to join
him in various special events, dinners, concerts, and/or vacations without any strings attached. SBs are looking
for someone who is willing to show his appreciation for her and all the special things she does for him by
spoiling her in a way that most typical men would not barring a serious relationship. As a result, both parties
walk away satisfied in that their needs were met. The man feels revitalized, rejuvenated, and on top of the
world and the woman walks away feeling special, appreciated, and powerful.

CONCLUSION

The SD-SB lifestyle can actually be a very honest way of life, since the question of personal finance is already
on the table. In-fact, there are no precursors to having the “money” conversation even on the first date. This
lifestyle is preferable to the SD who simply wants a no strings attached relationship.  Nevertheless, questions remain as to whether this is a legit for of lifestyle, or whether it's simply a nicer way of looking at prostitution.  You decide...[space height="HEIGHT"]
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IS MONOGAMY REALISTIC IN TODAY'S SOCIETY??

April 10, 2013

Author: Emily Croushore

According to studies conducted by Eric Anderson, an American sociologist at England’s University of Winchester, an astounding 78% of all men cheat. In his book entitled The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating, Anderson contends that although a man might love, adore, and appreciate his wife or girlfriend,
the simple fact remains that irrespective of his relationship status, a man will inherently crave to have sex with a variety of women throughout his lifetime. This got me thinking, in our society, where women are hyper sexualized and men are socially encouraged to be as sexually active as humanly possible, is monogamy even realistic anymore? Later I found myself having frank conversations with different men to find out what they believed.
I spoke to literally dozens upon dozens upon dozens of men, all of various backgrounds, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, and spiritual/religious beliefs. Some married or engaged, while others were merely casually dating or single. the other were single.  Despite the wide variety of men I spoke with about the topic however, they all had one thing
in common, to some degree they all believed that in today’s society, monogamy is in fact, not realistic for most people.

So what do you think? Where are us women to go from here? Do we convince ourselves that this information is just simply untrue, or that while it might be true for other women, OUR boyfriend/husband is the exception? Or do we choose to accept the information as true and engage in the same type of behavior behind our partner’s back or have an open relationship?

What do you think?

Watch this video now about monogamy:

[youtube height="480" width="640"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk4uEk19HpII[/youtube]

SO WHAT EXACTLY IS A DOUCHE BAG ANYWAY?

by Emily Croushore

Wed Apr 17, 2013

[quote align="center" color="#999999"]Male readers of my blog have often asked me in the past, …so what is a Douche Bag, exactly?”  My answer is always, “If you have to ask, you probably are one."[/quote]

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For those who still remain unsure of where they stand, I have put together a convenient blog to clarify things.  First off, douche bags can never be classified by looks alone.  The whole stereotype of what a douche bag "looks like" has to stop!!    Just because a guy wears a certain brand of clothing, styles his hair a certain way, and has a propensity for lifting weights and/or tanning salons doesn't mean he was a douche bag.  But that doesn't mean to say I wouldn't double check.  In fact, douche bags aren't typically known for necessarily being attractive, successful, funny, talented, charming, sexy, etc, etc etc.  That depiction is one that is merely perpetrated and perpetuated by douche bags who don't realize they're douche bags and need a group of people to point the finger at.

What makes a Douche Bag?

What makes a guy a douche bag is his outlook on life and attitude towards women and dating/relationships.  Sometimes, a douche bag is an individual who comes off as unassuming and harmless, maybe even nice.  But as you advance in your relationship, you quickly come to recognize his sense of self-entitlement and feeling as though the world, or women, owe him something.  His psychology: “I’ve been a nice guy all my life and the world owes me. I think it’s just fair if I break someone’s heart.”

Douche bags should NOT be confused with ass holes!!!  These are two different cans of worms people, the later being incapable of reform.  Assholes are guys who may in fact be, particularly attractive, successful, and/or charming.  He generally views himself as being better than other people, and in particular, most women.  His psychology is: "I'm attractive/successful/powerful and therefore my actions are justified."

Douche-bags aren't necessarily "bad" guys.  I've discovered that they are simply men who have been burned pretty bad in the past and as a result tend to be incredibly insecure (whether consciously or unconsciously aware).  Their failures in their last relationship have forced them to adopt an attitude that prevents them from becoming emotionally vulnerable or attainable to the woman, thereby eliminating their chances of being hurt again.  When a woman feels hurt or rejected, she turns to her friends who will offer their support, reinforce her positive qualities and help build back her confidence, and help convince her of just what an a-hole this one particular guy really is.  Conversely, when a man feels hurt or rejected, he internalizes the emotion and allows it to take a toll on his psyche, ego, and approach/outlook on women and dating in general.

D-Bag Reformation

When I alluded to the fact that Douche Bags can be reformed, I do believe that this can, in fact, happen.  However, three specific components are needed to effectuate this transformation:  (1) The guy has to realize he's a douche bag; (2) The guy has to want to change; (3) The guy has to modify his thoughts and behaviors accordingly.  These components occur with maturity and thus take time.  No one girl is going to make a guy go from being a douche bag to a respectable, datable guy overnight.  I've known several of guys who assume that if they meet the "right girl", she will inspire him to make an 180 degree change in his outlook on relationships overnight.  However, this magnitude of a transformation can not merely take place in a matter of weeks or even a few short months.  It takes persistence and practice.  Thus the chances of your dream girl growing tired of the BS while waiting for this "transformation" to happen are highly likely.  It is ideal for the man to be past the place of being a douche bag in order to attract and maintain a relationship with the "right" girl.

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