SO WHAT EXACTLY IS A DOUCHE BAG ANYWAY?

by Emily Croushore

Wed Apr 17, 2013

[quote align="center" color="#999999"]Male readers of my blog have often asked me in the past, …so what is a Douche Bag, exactly?”  My answer is always, “If you have to ask, you probably are one."[/quote]

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For those who still remain unsure of where they stand, I have put together a convenient blog to clarify things.  First off, douche bags can never be classified by looks alone.  The whole stereotype of what a douche bag "looks like" has to stop!!    Just because a guy wears a certain brand of clothing, styles his hair a certain way, and has a propensity for lifting weights and/or tanning salons doesn't mean he was a douche bag.  But that doesn't mean to say I wouldn't double check.  In fact, douche bags aren't typically known for necessarily being attractive, successful, funny, talented, charming, sexy, etc, etc etc.  That depiction is one that is merely perpetrated and perpetuated by douche bags who don't realize they're douche bags and need a group of people to point the finger at.

What makes a Douche Bag?

What makes a guy a douche bag is his outlook on life and attitude towards women and dating/relationships.  Sometimes, a douche bag is an individual who comes off as unassuming and harmless, maybe even nice.  But as you advance in your relationship, you quickly come to recognize his sense of self-entitlement and feeling as though the world, or women, owe him something.  His psychology: “I’ve been a nice guy all my life and the world owes me. I think it’s just fair if I break someone’s heart.”

Douche bags should NOT be confused with ass holes!!!  These are two different cans of worms people, the later being incapable of reform.  Assholes are guys who may in fact be, particularly attractive, successful, and/or charming.  He generally views himself as being better than other people, and in particular, most women.  His psychology is: "I'm attractive/successful/powerful and therefore my actions are justified."

Douche-bags aren't necessarily "bad" guys.  I've discovered that they are simply men who have been burned pretty bad in the past and as a result tend to be incredibly insecure (whether consciously or unconsciously aware).  Their failures in their last relationship have forced them to adopt an attitude that prevents them from becoming emotionally vulnerable or attainable to the woman, thereby eliminating their chances of being hurt again.  When a woman feels hurt or rejected, she turns to her friends who will offer their support, reinforce her positive qualities and help build back her confidence, and help convince her of just what an a-hole this one particular guy really is.  Conversely, when a man feels hurt or rejected, he internalizes the emotion and allows it to take a toll on his psyche, ego, and approach/outlook on women and dating in general.

D-Bag Reformation

When I alluded to the fact that Douche Bags can be reformed, I do believe that this can, in fact, happen.  However, three specific components are needed to effectuate this transformation:  (1) The guy has to realize he's a douche bag; (2) The guy has to want to change; (3) The guy has to modify his thoughts and behaviors accordingly.  These components occur with maturity and thus take time.  No one girl is going to make a guy go from being a douche bag to a respectable, datable guy overnight.  I've known several of guys who assume that if they meet the "right girl", she will inspire him to make an 180 degree change in his outlook on relationships overnight.  However, this magnitude of a transformation can not merely take place in a matter of weeks or even a few short months.  It takes persistence and practice.  Thus the chances of your dream girl growing tired of the BS while waiting for this "transformation" to happen are highly likely.  It is ideal for the man to be past the place of being a douche bag in order to attract and maintain a relationship with the "right" girl.

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